Thursday, January 06, 2005


Posted by Hello

She looks like the ex-punk rocker who, after the third incidence of waking up naked in a public place having crapped herself, found Jesus, reformed her life, returned to her roots and now travels through small towns in the midwest, playing to middle school audiences, singing inspirational folk songs of redemption, hope and the power of the human spirit. She self-produced two CDs, and while neither ever made any waves on the national charts, her song, "When You Wake Up In a Subway Tunnel And It Could Be Your Poop Or Someone Else's In Your Hair, Jesus Will Be There To Lend a Kleenex" has gained much underground popularity on college radio stations. She lives in Milwaukee with her husband, Dan, and their three young children.

7 comments:

Harriet (the fshlady) said...

You forgot to mention she home schools her kids who are responsible for painting her guitar.

Sean said...

She needs help. Judge says she was driving all drunk again and this is the last chance she's gonna get before she gets jail time.

"You need to go to AA if you want to walk out of this courtroom." His eyes peering over his glasses, "if you miss even one meeting, you're going to county. I'm going to verify your attendance myself."

She needs help. That's why you're forging signatures on her AA attendance sheet. You scribble illegibly while she strums inaudibly. She's practicing a song for Open mic night. It's about her ex.

You switch to use your left hand for a few signatures. It's great because that looks more authentic, more drunk.

She needs help. Not from you specifically, but that's how it turned out tonight. Kindess of strangers and all that shit. Kindess of strangers and all that shit. She's singing that line over and over again, slurring worse and worse as the yawn prys its way free from your cotton-dry mouth.

This is the mouth you wanted to put on hers when you first saw her at the laundromat four hours ago. She washed socks but no panties, and an empty box of detergent introduced you. Now you're in her apartment wonering how this train wreck in a turtle neck looked so attractive just a couple of hours ago.

She needs help.

Anonymous said...

she has no arms, and plays with her toes, that most likly have her poop squished all in between them.

Anonymous said...

Dungsta, pure poetry !

Anonymous said...

Neil Diamond fan Stacy Perkovitz tried to capitalize on the mega hits Kentucky Woman and Cinnamon Girl with her album of folk pig calls.

Anonymous said...

Watch her new PBS special "How To Ruin A Perfectly Good Guitar" - brought to you by Crayola

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