He looks like he's constantly being mistaken for a neo-Nazi ever since that night he got really drunk and his frat brothers convinced him to get their house address tattooed onto his hand so he'd be able to find his way back home. What people don't notice right away is that the tattoo actually wraps around his hand and reads:
18742 S
HATE
RFORD ROAD (THE
BIG HOUSE RIG
HT BEHIND MANNY'S
LOCO TAC
O SHACK &
PASTRAMI, NEXT DOOR TO
THE ENTERP
RISE RENT-A-CAR)
DON'T BLOCK THE DRIVEWAY, THANKS.
But while this look comes in handy when convincing the snooty maitre'd at the French bistro that he is surely NOT going to pay for his salad when he specifically asked for no tomatoes, and yet his salad looks like some giant tomato-eating robot took a big heaping tomato dump on it, people tend to judge him by his appearance and neglect getting to know the real him. He's actually a very cheerful guy with a sweet, sensitive disposition. He likes sunsets over the ocean and the clean smell of the air after it rains. His favorite color is aqua and he cites his mother as his role model. In his spare time, he likes to write poetry and paint landscapes, as well as spend time with his two cats, Lady Lovely and Mr. Butterball. If there is one thing he could tell the world, it would be...he's devastated that Brad and Jen couldn't work it out.
30 comments:
My name is Ralph Perkins. I am training for the middleweight championship of the world. I have four fights under my belt, two against famed boxer Timmy "Top Socks" McGillicutty. It's not you I hate. It's not you that I want to fight. It's this damn lump on my back. I hate it. I wish I could punch it back in. It's no fun being a hunchback. I hate it.
After continually being mistaken for that bald-headed little old man on 'The Benny Hill Show', Stanley(name witheld by request), decided to order the 'Charles Atlas Bodybuilding Course' from an advertisement in the back of his 'Fantastic Four' comic book. He had grown tired of people patting him really fast, on top of his bald head, just like Benny Hill did to the little guy on TV.
After only three days of the Charles Atlas course, he now has the strength of ten men, and babes a'plenty.
Incidentally, Stanley (name withheld by request) now only uses Turtle Wax Car Polish on his head, for that durable, yet lasting shine.
After continually being mistaken for that bald-headed little old man on 'The Benny Hill Show', Stanley(name witheld by request), decided to order the 'Charles Atlas Bodybuilding Course' from an advertisement in the back of his 'Fantastic Four' comic book. He had grown tired of people patting him really fast on top of his bald head, just like Benny Hill did to the little guy on TV.
After only three days of the Charles Atlas course, he now has the strength of ten men, and babes a'plenty.
Incidentally, Stanley (name withheld by request) now only uses Turtle Wax Car Polish on his head, for that durable, yet lasting shine.
mini me on steroids
Walter's brief gig as an "orc" extra on LOTR:ROTK went horribly wrong when the facial prosthetic wouldn't come off.
He said "Wot cha looking' at you blog-readin' nonce ? Do you want some ? Do you ?" You said..."The east end badlands are that way old boy. Nice hair cut."
This is actually a campaign photo for Stu Pudasso. He'll be running for Governor of California when Arnold makes his bid for the presidency.
As a child, he beat off with Stretch Armstrong.
All billy really wanted was a hug.
He looks like he had a lot of overcompensating to do being born without a neck. His mother told family and friends that she had tried an experimental morning sickness pill during the pregnancy, but the truth is that she liked a shot of antifreeze now and again (who doesn't). At night, he dreams of becoming the first neckless Muay Thai world champion and starring in a straight-to-video movie with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
(I'm scared that he'll see this and try to hurt the internet with his fists of fury. If he comes after me, I'm naming names.)
He Looks Like after a brief stint as the true-to-life counter-part portrayal of Mister Clean,(He once did a two week live promotional advertisement at the Piggly Wiggly in Mud Gap, NC)and now is ready to try his hand at acting.He hopes for at shot at replacing
the "Old Guy" currently wearing a certain purple dinosaur costume, because he wants to work close to kids.He was right in the middle of his song and dance routine rendition of the timeless classic, "The Goodship Lollipop" (at the time seen here) made famous by his boyhood idol,Shirley Temple.He hopes to pass on his fine moral values to the growing generations to come but, also maintain complete anonymity for fear of ridicule by his other members of the,"Latent Queer Arayan Brotherhood".Landing this part would allow him the dream of a lifetime and fulfill his obvious need for self expression.That, and maybe it will get him laid in this lifetime.............................Nah.
He Looks Like after a brief stint as the true-to-life counter-part portrayal of Mister Clean,(He once did a two week live promotional advertisement at the Piggly Wiggly in Mud Gap, NC)and now is ready to try his hand at acting.He hopes for at shot at replacing
the "Old Guy" currently wearing a certain purple dinosaur costume, because he wants to work close to kids.He was right in the middle of his song and dance routine rendition of the timeless classic, "The Goodship Lollipop" (at the time seen here) made famous by his boyhood idol,Shirley Temple.He hopes to pass on his fine moral values to the growing generations to come but, also maintain complete anonymity for fear of ridicule by his other members of the,"Latent Queer Arayan Brotherhood".Landing this part would allow him the dream of a lifetime and fulfill his obvious need for self expression.That, and maybe it will get him laid in this lifetime.............................Nah.
He looks like the kkk poster child
ok. i recovered. he looks like he's holding the 8 magic beans that he traded for his monster truck.
he looks like that in his mind that he is hitlers other half
I just got done reading Brad Pitts new book - Peak Oil: The End Of The World As We Know It.
I've realized I'm not going to be a rock star or a movie god, and I'm pissed off.
Hmmm, has anyone thought that he could be an extremely angry man with HATE written across his knuckles....
Food for thought....
he looks like a punk from new york that is angry because someone looked at his sister wrong, so he put his itallian sausage down and got ready to fight
He looks like the heavyweight champion for "Rocky VI" and he's saying, "I killed Apollo Creed for das title. You going down Italian pig-dog!"
http://www.xanga.com/crazymerrick i'm devastated too that they couldn't work it out. this site's funny, i wonder if you had something to do with it popping up when i type www.friedster.com.
Interesting.... I always wondered what became of the scary German Guy from "Raiders of the Lost Ark". Obiviously, he shaved of the Bandito 'stache and is a tad bitter over lack of Hollywood casting sessions... ie HATE!
Oh, well, there's always a date with Courtney Love in the waiting.
Colonel Klink II
He looks like Nathan Hate (that's his actual birth name, by the way - he's the son of William and Linda Hate) after his sixth unsuccessful run for the office of Superintendent of Public Schools in Seattle, Washington. The best he's ever gotten was during the second election, when he received 1.2% of the popular vote.
He doesn't understand it. He loves children. He loves his family so much he had his parents' name tattooed on his hand. He's a hardworking businessman who'll fight for your child's education. He's a gentle, fun-loving fellow. (Really!)
Why are people so afraid of him?
Next time, vote Nathan Hate. Please.
He is the estranged son of the Elephant Man and the Wicked Witch of the West. Dumping him in an Amish community at birth, his mother rode away to be melted by that annoying little girl with the sparkly red shoes. His father died of suffocation the day after. He is very angry because after trying to run for parson of their fair community, his opponent planted a handheld on him, leaving them all no choice but to evict him from the community. He just got the tar and feathers off of his naked flesh but could not get it off his knuckles where many people have thusfar mistaken it for a tattoo. He is about to punch the camera because it is actually a handheld much like the one that caused him to be cast out. Also there is the fact that he is naked and very embarrassed having never shown a woman anything more than his wrists...
he really is too sexy for his shirt.
he got the tattoo after no one believed him in the video.
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