He looks like he's feeling quite smug in the fact that he's completely naked from the waist down in this Employee-of-the-Month photo...and no one will ever know it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
It's a sick game. We psychoanalyze people in pictures. We make up their backstories. And we have a lot of fun doing it.
19 comments:
Right now he's thinking, "Go ahead, bitch, take my picture. Think yer all better than me, doncha? Think yer so effin smart, doncha? Go ahead, yuk it up. We'll see who has the last laugh.Can't wait to see the look on yer dumbass face when you see what I did to yer car!"
His beard smells like cup-o-noodles.
He looks lik ehe just caught the eye of the 200 pound mail lady from across the room
He looks like an IT computer junky; the kind that knows way more about computers than the average person and likes to remind you of that at every opportunity. He is quick to point out that without him the company would not operate at all. Without him all of the profits and sales would be meaningless and we would all be out of a job. His nightly routine consists of watching Tech TV and masturbating to women fighting characters from games he has on his Xbox. Oh and his name is Norman Fitz II.
His name is Ralph "Hell Boy" Simpkins. He's still reeling in depression because he was passed over in an extra in Mel Gibson's "Braveheart." Of note: He likes herbal tea but doesn't like anyone to know it.
Jeff Smith was pleased with the picture which was taken during his first day of orientation at the billing resolution call center. He was unaware that the image did nothing to conceal his cultivated sense of spite and skeptisism within the context of corporate America. These sentiments had developed after years of what Jeff considered to be a consistent failure by all of his former supervisors to recognize his true ability as a candidate for internal job postings.
It was to be the last time he wore a tie. That is, of course, until the day he faced 3 counts of attempted murder in a work related fit of rage brought on after: 3 cups of black coffee, a full bladder, and 4 consecutive telephone inquiries from non-English speaking residents of New Mexico.
As the winner of the Ozarks "Sweet Mullet" contest, he doesn't seem too overjoyed.
He is smiling slightly because it is november 1st. that means in a little over 2 weeks he get to dye his hair and beard and undertake his wintertime job as mall santa. this is his favorite time of the year because he gets to sit in a chair all day and pop errections against the underside of children who are too young to know he is committing a crime. He also finds that prostitutes often cut him a deal if he wears the suit as long as it wasn't one of those days he wets himself on purpose just to see if anyone notices. Yep the best time of the year: enough money to renew all his subscriptions to celebrity nudity websites (and a few gay ones), and enough mental images to keep him going for hours until he passes out in front of the tv on christmas eve night, covered in microwave pot pie from the waist up, and baby oil from the waist down.
"Are you ready to see the baddest fuckin' Harley you've ever laid eyes on, boy?"
CHRIS FARLEY'S BROTHER, CARL LEE FARLEY. HE'S THE FUNNIEST GUY IN THE INTERTECH MAILROOM. HE'S NOT AS FUNNY AS HIS BROTHER NOR IS HE AS TALENTED. HIS ATTEMPTS AT A HOLLYWOOD CAREER HAVE FAILED. THE ONLY ROLES HE'S RECEIVED WERE THE GAY BIKER IN THE FAILED POLICE ACADEMY SERIES AND THE "LAZY OAF" ON AN EPISODE OF ROSEANNE.
His name is Lester "the tank" Steeden, he was picked on in high school because he played Dungeons and Dragons with his only two friends, Squirm and Tom. He now works in the software testing department of Acclaim. Everyday for lunch he eats the same meal, a Bacon and Meatball Parm, large bag of cheese popcorn, and two packs of twinkes, with a diet pepsi. He is 28 years old and lives in his mom's basement where he listens to Poison, smokes pot, and plays Magic the Gathering. He is still a virgin, although he claims smearing peanut butter on your genitals and having your dog lick it off constitutes as having sex.
Well at least he has a beard to cover up his chin(s).
His work name is Lewis, he answers telephone calls for a corporate helpdesk... He is often referred to as the guy no one wants to get. Not only is he unfriendly, but he is really not that smart.
His friends call him Sir Gargamill “the Butcher”. On weekends he attends medieval festivals where he drinks mead and carries an oversized Ax, making up for his rather small package. He has a reputation for making an ass of himself and trying to court the king’s medieval wenches, who are all too familiar with his lack of pride after his kilt malfunction at last years highland games.
When he is not dressed in armor or his black trench coat he finds comfort in animal skins. He tells everyone that there is nothing like the skin of a dead animal on your crotch to make you feel like a man. Do remember though that Lewis is a 38 year old virgin who doesn’t have any prospects other than the mildly retarded girl down the street who is often referred to by his mother as “nice”.
Lewis contemplates suicide on a regular basis, but has too much contempt for the world he lives in the complete his mission; or perhaps it’s that he just doesn’t want to die a virgin.
He looks like a telemarketer on about ten hours of work and the dammit doll is not working no more.
Thanks to the foresight and funding of the Bush administration, Meatloaf was able to receive training from Technical School and start a new career as a data entry clerk at AT&T. He grew the beard because autograph hounds were continually distracting him from his intense focus on this highly demanding work.
Meatloaf! Where ya been?
He looks like John Tesh after one too many White Castle cheeseburgers
i think he hid my scizzors
he looks like an ex-southern christian rocker who got hooked on coke and broke up with the rest of his band to go solo,but failed misribly,so now he works at a phone company,and he's pissed off about it.
Post a Comment