Tuesday, October 06, 2009

He looks like he's taking the news stoically, but his baby brother Cameron is devastated...he just can't believe it's not butter.
He looks like he has mastered the final and ultimate maxim from Sun Tzu's Art of War:

When one can not overcome his enemy by strength or strategy, poison his Tic Tacs when he leaves them on the counter of the Hyatt men's room while he's locked in a stall taking a dump, and when death befalls him, call a press conference and publicly make love to his corpse. Time has shown that great men win battles, but only a dead man fucks with a crazy motherfucker.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

She looks like the age range for this Singles Fantasy Vacation to Niagara Falls was a little wider than she had anticipated.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

He looks like the Mills Valley Elementary School record holder for number of times held back in the 3rd grade (18), traumatizing nearly two generations of little boys who were afraid not to be his friend when he bounded up to them and asked them to honk his nose. Sleepover parties were always the worst. No one could sleep around him.
Incidentally, that marching band kid who thinks he's British gets punched in the gut, just moments after this picture was taken, by the little gay kid in the front row who hates posers.

Monday, June 29, 2009

US Military Interdepartmental Memo (Highly Confidential):

She looks like proof that the military's experiment using covert operatives as delivery systems for "silent but deadly" biological weapons is wildly effective, causing gagging and instant death within seconds to those within a 12 ft radius. The carrier remains immune, though in her debrief reported a heavy, meaty smell shortly following engagement of the weapon. She was adamant the smell didn't come from her.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

They look like ladies...two authentic ladies who drink lady drinks and eat dainty lady portions while  sitting politely and smiling and nodding and only speaking when spoken to with their legs coquettishly crossed like ladies. except they'll only have anal with the lights off because they're saving their vajayjays for marriage.
He looks like if he hadn't been responsible for ordering the genocide of hundreds of thousands of people in his own country, his staff wouldn't be so terrified to tell him he's about to kill the stripper.

Friday, January 16, 2009

He looks like even pedophiles know that reversing the roles every once in a while can be healthy for balancing a relationship.