He looks like when he goes into chat rooms and pretends to be TammySmiles!, the 12 year old girl from Sarasota, FL who hates the 6th grade, scary movies and mean people but loves Aaron Carter, dolphins and shopping at Miller's Outpost, he feels like he's doing a public service by messing with those sick motherfuckers who use the internet to prey on innocent children. ("Sick motherfuckers...," he likes to rant, "Why aren't there stricter laws against weirdos on the internet????") He's single and a computer analyst who works from home. Other than his mother and random people in a crowded bus, he's never been touched by a woman. He's in a bowling league, but he's not very good. His favorite food is soup. He hopes one day he'll meet a woman who can have entire conversations comprised of only Simpsons quotes.
20 comments:
Chicken...that's HILARIOUS.
that guy...needs a shave,a haircut and...oh,heck,just an entire makeover!
Man... Jesus has really let himself go!!!
He so fat when they said lean back (a rap sond) he was still siting up
Henry Myers, 330lbs, lives alone with his cat Mr. Tickler. He fills out internet surveys for a living, and hasn't stepped out of his house since Milli Vanilli were makin hits. Back in high school, he was the captain of the football team and drove around in his I-Roc Z, sporting a "killer" mullet. After he broke his knee in a freak balloon accident, he was never able to play football again. He was so desperate for lovin' he tried pedophilia, but children wouldn't go near him because they said, "He smells like stinky cheese, B.O., and mold". For fun he throws his cat around his apartment like a football. He nicknamed his penis "the invisible man" because he knows it's there, but he can't see it. His favorite snack is a 12 pack of warm beer and peanut butter, tuna, and salami on a wedge with a side of pickle flavored potato chips.
The poor lil gal must of had some morbid family loving when young and when grew up was soooo traumatized....aquired a eating disorder decided the anger management classes were not working and chose to become a chix with a dic..by the name of Bubba.
Chuck is an old stoner who lives in his sister Bertha's garage. They let him come in the house to wash up and he's allowed to hang out if nobody is around. He makes his living selling junk at the swap meet and still likes to hang out and drink Old Milwaukee beer with his loser friends that he has known since high school.
Is that Bob Segar??
He looks like after the dream of becoming the next lead singer for "Skynard" fell through,Doyle Whattley,kinda "let himself go".He recently decided that because it was becoming too much of a hassle, of time and money, to find anything that might fit him,much less compliment his smokey eyes,he joined a nudist community.He had worked as an accountant on the side,during his music pursuit,and quickly put those skills together to become the new "Golden Bare Acres Community" Treasurer and Activities Coordinator.He had this picture taken as a post for the "new employees" Welcomimg Commitee for this month's residential gala.So everyone, let's make Doyle feel welcome to the neighborhood and hope he'll bring a new renewal to the party scene at G.B.C.!!
If you want my body and you think i'm sexy come on baby bring it on
Excuse me ...... Do i look like a C cup or a D cup I've never bought a bra before.
Poor Frank lost both legs in Vietnam, but still says he is in real good shape. He likes to show off his manly frame to his wife, while belting out "Hunka-hunka burnin' love."
he looks like one those internet freaks. his name is indeed henry myers but he goes by the name hot1mammaluvr online in order to lure 14 year olds to the foul smelling basement of his mother (abbrieta myers)'s house where he lived ever since he got out of rehab for drug abuse of good ol' mary jane.he likes to eat the grease from over cooked 3-day-old pizza and talk to himself while cleaning his glasses. he will soon be thrown in jail for hacking into government files and stealing thousands of dollars to build up his comic book and action figure (not dolls!) collection.
Get in my bellllly...
Howdy, my name's Jared (just like the Subway* guy) and I'd like to be on Extreme Makeover*. I don't have a girl, no friends, no job, no girl, no car, no girl, and I've never had a girl. I'd like to point out that I'm perfectly comfortable with myself, but I want other people to accept me too. Like that cute neighbor girl...
*Subway is in no way affliated with this man.
**Extreme Makeover would like to point out that this applicant was rejected, being as the neighbor girl was only 8, and that he had, in fact, had a couple previous girlfriends (they refused to speak of the relationship).
"Hey, someone call U-Haul. I gotta move my bowels!"
James Gumb from "Silence of the Lambs" would have a field day making a skin suit out of this guy!
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