Saturday, December 04, 2004
She looks like a housewife who loves asking her friends, "What would Jesus do?" and then cackles like it's the funniest thing in the world. But she's serious. This woman loves God, and kittens, and her husband Dan, whom she married out of high school and they just love each other to bits and pieces and forever and ever and ever and she is so fulfilled in life that every day, she praises the Lord for all the beauty and happiness He has blessed her with. Hallelujah! Nevermind the fact that she doesn't know yet that Dan gave her the clap years back from a whore he fucked one night while he was out with the boys in Memphis, and her insides are so shot that THAT'S why they haven't been able to conceive. And when asked about why there's a roll of toilet paper on the bed, she explained, "Oh, the toilet's broken so we've gotta do our business out in the backyard until Dan's paycheck comes in next week and we can have the plumber come out. But ya know, this is God's will I guess. What would Jesus do, right? HAHAHAHAHAHA. " While behind her, her husband pantomimes taking out a gun and shooting himself in the head.