He looks like Alton, the guy who operates the Tilt-A-Whirl down at the shitty amusement park behind the Walmart. When asked what he likes to do when he's not working, he replied, "Seven? Yeah, seven's a lucky number...I ate m'hat." Alton drives around town in a brown 1990 Datsun hatchback covered in hundreds of bumper stickers. The one that people notice most is the one on the back window that reads, "The only Bush I trust is the one between my legs." Ironically, Alton is neither a feminist nor does he know who or what Bush is. He's just a simple man who really, really likes stickers.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
He looks like Alton, the guy who operates the Tilt-A-Whirl down at the shitty amusement park behind the Walmart. When asked what he likes to do when he's not working, he replied, "Seven? Yeah, seven's a lucky number...I ate m'hat." Alton drives around town in a brown 1990 Datsun hatchback covered in hundreds of bumper stickers. The one that people notice most is the one on the back window that reads, "The only Bush I trust is the one between my legs." Ironically, Alton is neither a feminist nor does he know who or what Bush is. He's just a simple man who really, really likes stickers.
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HE LOOKS LIKE HES STRAINING TO FART.
He looks like the guy you don't want directing your float trip.
He looks like Hank Azaria.
He looks like Junior, an illiterate fun loving guy raised deep in the backwoods of Tennesse by parents who look strangely alike. He's a canoe guide now in Florida and has been known to wrestle alligators successfully even after a twelve pack. His hobbies are raising tarantulas to sell at the flea market and looking at porn mags "'cuz he likes the pitchers".
Love you site. Adding it as a link to my evolving site of satire: www.theinescuremale.com
he looks like fetus on gunsmoke
he looks like he was raise by his retarded uncle cause noone else wanted him, he was never made to leave his first grade class cause he kicked and screamed if he didnt get lunch with all his little buddies everyday. at the age of forty five he was forced to face life when they kicked him outa elementary. Now he follows kids around wal-mart to ask if they want to ride in his canoe with him.
This is David. At the age of five he became the youngest lawyer to ever reach the top. by the time he was seventeen he had more money than God, and was bored as hell. One day he flew his tiny plane to virginia where it crashed. He had no memory and thought his name was M.U.D.D. because that was the brand on the pants he bought his nephew as a birthday present and was what he was thinking about before he crashed. Now, ten years later, virginians of that area still talk about the crazy old man who lived in the swamp and made little blond boys dissapear.
oh, you guys have no idea. His name is actually Bocephus cause his mama loved Hank Williams soo much. But everybody just calls him Bo. What you can't see is that he's on a bicycle that has a basket in the front with embroidered daisies on it and rainbow tassels. He rides around town collecting soda cans which he will fashion into WWII fighter planes and sell at the local flea market. All this hard work has finally paid off and he can afford to bail his sister, I mean girlfriend, out of jail for knocking his front teeth out.
He looks like...the spawn of an unnatural union between Sean Penn and Kid Rock.
He looks like professional skateboarder and San Fransisco master of debauchery Frank Gerwer.
Billy Ray won a weekend trip to The Alamo on the Baton Rouge classic rock station. He used most of the per diem money that he received to buy an eight ball of crank. His visit to Texas would be one for the scrapbook.
A "wired" Billy Ray wandered through The Alamo on the guided tour. Upset about the Mexican victory, he began to scream racial slurs at the top of his lungs. Several members of the tour group attempted to calm him down while others fled. The authorities were called when he pulled out his pecker and shook it at the female tour guide.
This photo was taken by tour member Tu Dinh Nguyen just before security arrived.
He looks like Ted, who tells you the beer you just gave him was his first in 16 years, then wants to discuss how much has changed since he "went into the joint". 10 minutes after the picture was taken, he's on his way back to prison, in cuffs and blood spurting from various facial wounds, after a nine-year-old girl's uncle overhears him offering $20 to come outside and see his puppy.
He looks like "Ernest goes on safari", or "Ernest goes rafting", or "Ernest goes to Arkansas". He is happier than a puppy with two peters. His Mammy is fixin' him a big ol' plate o' greens, porkchops and cornbread; you can't see the enormous bulge in his pants, but that smile might as well be a hard pecker on his face. He has the mind of a three year old and the dick of a purebred stallion. You can bet your sweet ass he gets a hell of a lot more nookie than you do. He likes chewin' baccy', moonshine, public restrooms, and the way his mom holds him. His daddy will be out of prison soon and P. Wart here hopes his pappy will take him to the county fair for some fun and games. He looks like his head tried to suck his face in or else he was in a monster-truck accident. We wish him, his sister and their 3 children the best of fortune. May you always fart downwind, may your trailer never tip, may your job down at the local wal-mart never be vacant, may you never look in a mirror and may they never say that you were too "stoopid" . Bless you and your little 13-toed rugrats and your wife/sister and mom/mother-in-law.
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