It's a sick game. We psychoanalyze people in pictures. We make up their backstories. And we have a lot of fun doing it.
Monday, December 05, 2005
He looks like he would have been more appropriately dressed had he complemented his outfit with tan argyle socks to match his shoes. That white on brown ensemble just makes him look tacky.
48 comments:
Anonymous
said...
Sally, having just had her sex change operation forgot that she was now going by Sam and had to stop wearing women's clothing if anyone was going to take her serious as a man.
He looks like he is agonizing just moments before the big race trying to figure out why he can't seem rid himself of that last second worth of drag that is keeping him from accomplishing a record time.
"Oh what could I ever do to make myself more aerodynamic?" He mumbles as he enters the water.
He looks like Harry Glanz, the contender to beat in the "Run Through The Pain S&M Challenge." He, along with his sister Cuntiata (pronounced KOON-ti-ah-tah) - a top contender in the women's division - invented the innovative "knickers in a twist" technique shown in the picture that gives them a serious competitive advantage.
They've overcome recent setbacks. Cuntiata has just gotten several competitive federations to stop referring to her as "the Cuntster". ("It's KOON, not KUN, you bastards!" she yelled at one opponent through her tears at a pivotal match in the summer season). Harry fought back from a disqualification at regional tournament in Greece because his uniform had a hidden device which paddled him while he paddled, giving him an unfair advantage over the field.
Both eagerly looked forward to the opening ceremony because featured acts included Depeche Mode and Marilyn Manson.
He looks like he has a very full bladder, but he has several issues to address before he can go take a piss...Observe:
In deep contemplation, the Finnish man debates whether he should adjust his penis to one side, or if he should leave it positioned vertically in the middle. An obsessive-compulsive person, he always positions every object--from his erotic novels, to anal beeds, to testicles--in a symmetrical manner.
To make matters worse, he also suffers from an intense phobia of everyone making fun of his urine stains. He knows that, if he keeps his penis in the middle, the urine stains (which he never fails to leave on his underwear) would become painfully obvious to the entire world. The only solution would be to position his penis to either the left or the right, not in the middle. But he could never allow this to happen since he is obsessed with symmetry.
In the meantime, his lifetime partner, who stands next to him, tells him, "Honey, baby, don't worry about leaving a stain. Your're about to get drenched by a vat of semen anyway." The Finnish man shakes his head, consumed by his fear of an obvious urine stain.
"Honey," his partner whispers,"even if your urine soaks through your sexy swimsuit, you need not care about what other people think. I think you should focus on only my opinion. You know that I LOVE IT when you leave urine stains! It makes me so HOT...Remember last night??"
Our Finnland friend knows that his lover is right. As his bladder gets fuller and fuller, he thinks about how badly he wants to compete in this event--he's been waiting for over a year to take a dive into other men's semen. It was, after all, his life-long dream.
Utterly torn between his obssesion of symmetry, fear of obvious urine stains, and his dire urge to pee, the Finland swimmer decides to call Mom. Mom coped with many penile and urinary problems with his own penis in the past. He would know what to do!
i did not know guys could get camel toes as well...i hope it hurts him...he doesn't look pained though...hahah i would laugh my ass off if he got a boner...just as he was about to do w/e the heck he was gonna do...unless he's a male prostitute...and if he is...i dont think he's gonna get much business today.
After hours and hours of tailgating bob decides to go to the swim meet dressed as his favorite swimmer. Swim meet tail gaters are just as fanatical as other sport's tail gaters. After a good amount of booze it seemed like a great idea to go suport my team this way, but after the buzz wore off and the pain set in he rethought the whole idea.
He reminds me of a freak selling LSD at a Stones concert in the early 80's See the little tag in the back of his hat? It reads "ACID/COKE 4 SALE" I remember this guy! Sort of...
This poor booger picking moron dug too deep and injured his sensory nerves. Now he can't feel the cool breeze that would let him know his boys are splitting on him. He also has the unfortunate likeness of Hanniball Lecter... wonder if he is going to serve fava balls with a nice chianti?
"I can't do it! I just can't do it!" Pieter shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
"Look, Pieter," ventured Helmut, Pieter's more conservative older brother, "I know I haven't supported you much in the past, but this is your lifelong dream! You can't back out of this!"
A solitary tear rolled down Pieter's cheek.
"There, there, no tears Pietey, you'll mess up your eyeliner!" exclaimed Helmut.
"I know, I know, I just can't help it! I never knew you cared so much! I worked so hard to become a model for the new Betsey Johnson sports couture line, and I can't give up now!!"
"That's the spirit! Now get out there and show everyone how ballsy you are." Helmut gave Pieter a brotherly hug, and Pieter ran off to join his fellow models for one last cigarette before working the catwalk.....
He looks like a tri-athelete who bought an inexpensive suit on E-bay (money is tight for struggling tri-athletes). The suit arrived by UPS just a few hours before the meet so he had no time to "break it in". Although the suit fit great before the swimming event the "space age materials" the suit was made of shrank by 30% once exposed the cold ocean waters. So painfully he fought like a trooper, super-camel and all until he crossed the finish line. But strangely he found that he enjoyed the extra tightness and decided to compete in every triathalon wearing his new space age suit.
Kleebrox Inpsodium has just visited our planet. It is a trip he has longed to take for many years. He spent long hours landscaping lawns and performing fellatio on the paying women of his planet. It took a lot of antenna sucking to get up ehough money to buy everythink he needed, but, with perserverance, he finally did it.
Unfortunately for Kleebrox, his Visual Generation Device was a rather old model and the only things he could find to watch on the Planet Earth (0284675848S10P1M) were various olympian games and a rather unusual porn channel. Thusly, when he arrived, he found himself not only horribly overdressed, but also in a wild state of confusion. For one thing, although he had manufactured a hairless undercarriage for himself in his diguise, the first man he saw had hair aplenty surrounding his penis.
The small device Kleebrox has in his hand is actually a communication device used to call for emergency transport. Unfortunately for Kleebrox (and for the rest of us for that matter) it, like his VGD is also rather old and has finally broken. Now he is stuck on this planet. And with those horrible shoes too...
Sammy ponders, "Should I enter the race as a man or a women"? Call me nuts, and I don't want to drop the ball, but it's really hard to be pulled in two directions at once....... especially when you're split right up the middle.
He looks like he was a conjoined twin at the penis and forgot to tuck in the remains of his twin when he put that swimsuit on. The nerves in the skin that's hanging out aren't connected to his spinal chord, explaining the fact that he looks completely clueless.
Arnold Schwarzenegger's cousin Bjorn always felt shadowed by his celebrity cousin. Bjorn knew that if he could just get the chance to show the world, they would see who the real Mr. Universe was.
Hello... "This is me leprochan human form." Said Lasse McBalls. "I have just entered the humans' how do yee humans say it swim meet? Well anyways I have been searching for my pot of gold I seem to have lost the gold nuggets."
A strange man come up behind him and taps him on the shoulder and says, "Lasse McBalls is that you I thought I would never see you again. WOW you have gotten big in the pot section huh?"
Lasse, "Pot section what is thee meaning of that???" Lasse looks at the man all confused as well heaven on earth.
Stranger, "Look at the ball you have in you suit dude that is where your pot section is duh!!"
Lasse looks and says, "I found my lucky charms after all and my pot of gold too. They were always after my lucky charms."
Stranger leaves at that cue and says, "I only told him that because I am a leprochan too. Me name is Ladde McBigballs. I have them bigger than him at least he will never know that..."
"MY LUCKY CHARMS ARE FREEZING NOW WHY IS THAT?" Lasse screams at Ladde in the end Lasse loses the fashion tournament and the swim tournament something about extra baggage put him in last place...
He looks like Georg the travelling "Ball Diver" hired by outdoorsy S&M clubs to break up the monotony between penis driven lacrosse and the always painful, ever popular "genital cuff" bungee jumping.
Eagerly awaiting the race. Hopefully, no one will notice you cring in pain, especially when you raise your arms for the strokes.(that suit should rise another 2 inches, and his boys will be screaming)
experimental stream of consciousness writer who may or may not be a liar. sanest person you've ever met but i'll look you in the eyes like a computer eating magnets. what i don't know about you, i'll make up. and you'll still love me because you don't know where i went that moment you swore i disappeared. my moods chase the seasons and i hear it makes an interesting read. i like smelling good. you can send pics or holler at me at brokenhalo6@gmail.com
48 comments:
Sally, having just had her sex change operation forgot that she was now going by Sam and had to stop wearing women's clothing if anyone was going to take her serious as a man.
he looks like his nuts are hanging out and he just doesn't care.
can any one say cammel toe? at least we know she shaves.
WOW!!! That's the worst case of hemorrhoids I've ever seen!!
He looks like he is agonizing just moments before the big race trying to figure out why he can't seem rid himself of that last second worth of drag that is keeping him from accomplishing a record time.
"Oh what could I ever do to make myself more aerodynamic?" He mumbles as he enters the water.
Finnish dudes are NUTS!
He looks like he jumped off the boat to Finland and just kept swimmin, even after losing his wig!
Whose nuts? Deez Nuts!
He looks like Harry Glanz, the contender to beat in the "Run Through The Pain S&M Challenge." He, along with his sister Cuntiata (pronounced KOON-ti-ah-tah) - a top contender in the women's division - invented the innovative "knickers in a twist" technique shown in the picture that gives them a serious competitive advantage.
They've overcome recent setbacks. Cuntiata has just gotten several competitive federations to stop referring to her as "the Cuntster". ("It's KOON, not KUN, you bastards!" she yelled at one opponent through her tears at a pivotal match in the summer season). Harry fought back from a disqualification at regional tournament in Greece because his uniform had a hidden device which paddled him while he paddled, giving him an unfair advantage over the field.
Both eagerly looked forward to the opening ceremony because featured acts included Depeche Mode and Marilyn Manson.
Once the icy breeze hit Ottos' package, he regretted leaving his merkan at home.
Ernie took "casual Fridays" to a whole new level during the company picnic.
He looks like he has a very full bladder, but he has several issues to address before he can go take a piss...Observe:
In deep contemplation, the Finnish man debates whether he should adjust his penis to one side, or if he should leave it positioned vertically in the middle. An obsessive-compulsive person, he always positions every object--from his erotic novels, to anal beeds, to testicles--in a symmetrical manner.
To make matters worse, he also suffers from an intense phobia of everyone making fun of his urine stains. He knows that, if he keeps his penis in the middle, the urine stains (which he never fails to leave on his underwear) would become painfully obvious to the entire world. The only solution would be to position his penis to either the left or the right, not in the middle. But he could never allow this to happen since he is obsessed with symmetry.
In the meantime, his lifetime partner, who stands next to him, tells him, "Honey, baby, don't worry about leaving a stain. Your're about to get drenched by a vat of semen anyway." The Finnish man shakes his head, consumed by his fear of an obvious urine stain.
"Honey," his partner whispers,"even if your urine soaks through your sexy swimsuit, you need not care about what other people think. I think you should focus on only my opinion. You know that I LOVE IT when you leave urine stains! It makes me so HOT...Remember last night??"
Our Finnland friend knows that his lover is right. As his bladder gets fuller and fuller, he thinks about how badly he wants to compete in this event--he's been waiting for over a year to take a dive into other men's semen. It was, after all, his life-long dream.
Utterly torn between his obssesion of symmetry, fear of obvious urine stains, and his dire urge to pee, the Finland swimmer decides to call Mom. Mom coped with many penile and urinary problems with his own penis in the past. He would know what to do!
--ARHP
i did not know guys could get camel toes as well...i hope it hurts him...he doesn't look pained though...hahah i would laugh my ass off if he got a boner...just as he was about to do w/e the heck he was gonna do...unless he's a male prostitute...and if he is...i dont think he's gonna get much business today.
We are all assuming he is a swimmer, but sadly, he is a cyclist.
Billy Joe Armstrong, lead singer of the rock group Green Day, was surprised that so few people recognized him at the Bay to Breakers race.
After hours and hours of tailgating bob decides to go to the swim meet dressed as his favorite swimmer. Swim meet tail gaters are just as fanatical as other sport's tail gaters. After a good amount of booze it seemed like a great idea to go suport my team this way, but after the buzz wore off and the pain set in he rethought the whole idea.
the # 1 contender in the "tea bag" olympics
What about this outfit? Yeah, this is the one!
Do your boys hang low, do they wobble to and fro
After many years of speculation, it has been proven that Uncle Fester did indeed have balls of steel.
He reminds me of a freak selling LSD at a Stones concert in the early 80's See the little tag in the back of his hat? It reads "ACID/COKE 4 SALE" I remember this guy! Sort of...
This poor booger picking moron dug too deep and injured his sensory nerves. Now he can't feel the cool breeze that would let him know his boys are splitting on him. He also has the unfortunate likeness of Hanniball Lecter... wonder if he is going to serve fava balls with a nice chianti?
"If you wanna catch ground squirrels, you gotta provide the right bait!"
Do you think anyone would notice I cut a hole in my speedos and pulled it over my head?
"I can't do it! I just can't do it!" Pieter shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
"Look, Pieter," ventured Helmut, Pieter's more conservative older brother, "I know I haven't supported you much in the past, but this is your lifelong dream! You can't back out of this!"
A solitary tear rolled down Pieter's cheek.
"There, there, no tears Pietey, you'll mess up your eyeliner!" exclaimed Helmut.
"I know, I know, I just can't help it! I never knew you cared so much! I worked so hard to become a model for the new Betsey Johnson sports couture line, and I can't give up now!!"
"That's the spirit! Now get out there and show everyone how ballsy you are." Helmut gave Pieter a brotherly hug, and Pieter ran off to join his fellow models for one last cigarette before working the catwalk.....
Hey, look everbody, it's the Ambiguously Gay Duo!
He is two balls shy of A load.
Or thats just 4 feet of missplaced fore-skin.
He looks like a tri-athelete who bought an inexpensive suit on E-bay (money is tight for struggling tri-athletes). The suit arrived by UPS just a few hours before the meet so he had no time to "break it in". Although the suit fit great before the swimming event the "space age materials" the suit was made of shrank by 30% once exposed the cold ocean waters. So painfully he fought like a trooper, super-camel and all until he crossed the finish line. But strangely he found that he enjoyed the extra tightness and decided to compete in every triathalon wearing his new space age suit.
His camel toe looks bigger than mine.
Forget the camel toe and sticking out of his pants, look at those shoes, big brass buckles, what does he think he looks like and white socks as well?
Kleebrox Inpsodium has just visited our planet. It is a trip he has longed to take for many years. He spent long hours landscaping lawns and performing fellatio on the paying women of his planet. It took a lot of antenna sucking to get up ehough money to buy everythink he needed, but, with perserverance, he finally did it.
Unfortunately for Kleebrox, his Visual Generation Device was a rather old model and the only things he could find to watch on the Planet Earth (0284675848S10P1M) were various olympian games and a rather unusual porn channel. Thusly, when he arrived, he found himself not only horribly overdressed, but also in a wild state of confusion. For one thing, although he had manufactured a hairless undercarriage for himself in his diguise, the first man he saw had hair aplenty surrounding his penis.
The small device Kleebrox has in his hand is actually a communication device used to call for emergency transport. Unfortunately for Kleebrox (and for the rest of us for that matter) it, like his VGD is also rather old and has finally broken. Now he is stuck on this planet. And with those horrible shoes too...
He looks like he needs a friend to help him get to the mens clothes or give some thought to a bikini wax.
Janet Jackson yet again has another wardrobe malfunction.
Why is no one else around him seem as grossed out as me?
He looks like Rocky Horror Picture Show gone terribly terribly wrong!
"Hey, guys. Want some CD's?
SEE DEEZ NUTS!!
Sammy ponders, "Should I enter the race as a man or a women"? Call me nuts, and I don't want to drop the ball, but it's really hard to be pulled in two directions at once....... especially when you're split right up the middle.
Dang, just get your weiner out too, dude. Don't be shy!
He looks like he was a conjoined twin at the penis and forgot to tuck in the remains of his twin when he put that swimsuit on. The nerves in the skin that's hanging out aren't connected to his spinal chord, explaining the fact that he looks completely clueless.
Arnold Schwarzenegger's cousin Bjorn always felt shadowed by his celebrity cousin. Bjorn knew that if he could just get the chance to show the world, they would see who the real Mr. Universe was.
Hello...
"This is me leprochan human form." Said Lasse McBalls. "I have just entered the humans' how do yee humans say it swim meet? Well anyways I have been searching for my pot of gold I seem to have lost the gold nuggets."
A strange man come up behind him and taps him on the shoulder and says, "Lasse McBalls is that you I thought I would never see you again. WOW you have gotten big in the pot section huh?"
Lasse, "Pot section what is thee meaning of that???" Lasse looks at the man all confused as well heaven on earth.
Stranger, "Look at the ball you have in you suit dude that is where your pot section is duh!!"
Lasse looks and says, "I found my lucky charms after all and my pot of gold too. They were always after my lucky charms."
Stranger leaves at that cue and says, "I only told him that because I am a leprochan too. Me name is Ladde McBigballs. I have them bigger than him at least he will never know that..."
"MY LUCKY CHARMS ARE FREEZING NOW WHY IS THAT?" Lasse screams at Ladde in the end Lasse loses the fashion tournament and the swim tournament something about extra baggage put him in last place...
He looks like his girlfriend forgot to remind him to shave his boys.
He looks like Georg the travelling "Ball Diver" hired by outdoorsy S&M clubs to break up the monotony between penis driven lacrosse and the always painful, ever popular "genital cuff" bungee jumping.
Eagerly awaiting the race. Hopefully, no one will notice you cring in pain, especially when you raise your arms for the strokes.(that suit should rise another 2 inches, and his boys will be screaming)
It's a nice suit, but a little too constricting. Those babies need circulation.
Here's hoping the spamming bastard that hit all of these posts dies a long and painful death.
That said...
Better make-up....$25
New shoes.........$60
an outfit that keeps your balls from hanging out in public...
priceless.
AHHHHHHHHHH, FUCK!
My eyes, my eyes, somebody help me!
what a shame?
football merchandise fan club shop
Post a Comment