
He looks like after the fruit punch from his cousin's bar mitvah took its toll on his bladder, he stumbled into the wrong bathroom stall where he found a couple of burned out Wall Street brokers doing lines for stress relief. They asked him, "Hey kid, do you party?" and he was like, "Yeah" and they were like, try this. And all of a sudden, life was soooooo good and the next thing he knows, he's waking up behind the wheel of someone's Lincoln Towncar with the hood crashed into a Jack in the Box drive thru, a dead hooker in the backseat, an empty glock in his lap and $50,000 in bloody cash spilling out of the glove compartment. On the positive side, his cousin did mention that he did a wicked version of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin" on karaoke that night before he tossed the DJ through the plate-glass window.
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He looks like Bobby - a "special" little boy, according to his mommy - who practiced for almost seven months to be able to lead the audience in pantomiming the Village People's song "YMCA" at his eighth birthday party. Unfortunately, Bobby committed a faux pas, as the song playing was "In the Navy."
In a related note, the man holding up Bobby is "Uncle Freddy," his mother's most recent boyfriend. What with Bobby being mentally slow and his mother working nights, Freddy is enjoying all the "quality time" he spends with Bobby in Mommy's bed. Bobby's real daddy left his mommy two days after Bobby was born.
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Due to the fact that he was the smallest kid at camp, Robbie was the victim of every prank the other kids pulled that summer, and although he suffered in silence, they wouldn't accept him as one of them until, in true David and Goliath fashion, he won the obstacle course competition at the Inter-Camp Olympics by running UNDER all of the obstacles...the points he scored secured the Camper Championship, which was enough to keep the camp from being closed by the local authorities. Robbie was the hero of the camp that night, got kissed by a girl for the first time, and even the adult counselors called him a hero.
Unfortunately, Robbie started to feel a little ill while on the bus going home the next day, and three weeks later, died of pnuemonia from the mononucliosis he contracted from the kiss.
He looks like Timmy, who celebrates after winning the "Most Popular Boy" award at the Summer Nights End-of-Camp Mixer. Everyone thought he was just a creepy little kid when camp started two months ago. But then the guys all found out that Timmy had a "no holes barred" policy on pleasuring them in their bunks at night. And the girls all realized that Timmy's mom trained him extraordinarily well in the art of cunnilingus and that he was willing to show them all his tricks. Timmy's dance card was full every minute of every day for the rest of that summer.
In just a few hours, Timmy will be riding home in the back seat of his mom's Ford Probe, with a hot load from every male camp counselor still warming the inside of his ass.
Timmy, Poster Child for the Jerry Lewis MD telethon, poses for the camera, as Jerry and his mother divide the loot from the 2004 broadcast.
Mommy (shown in front) is planning how she can use Timmy this year; as the house payment and taxes are due. Just like last year's Poster Child, Timmy's charming, sweet youthful glow will soon wear off as Mr. Lewis makes him play "grab the candy bar from my pocket' game, in the dressing room during the long TV broadcast.
He looks like Eddie, the slightly brain-damaged child who'd always been taken advantage of by his Uncle Jimmy (Seen here supporting him on his shoulder). This year, at Uncle Jimmy's "Family Reunion Blast", so called because of how 'Blasted' everyone is by the end of it, Eddie has been subjected to the worst of tortures. He was put in a miniskirt and paraded around the party. Unfortunately for young Eddie, from his higher than normal vantage point everyone can see the unusual protrusion extending from just below his penis. Apparently Eddie was born with two penis's and was very excited about being on Uncle Jimmy's shoulder. Just after this shot was taken, his mother, Claudia (Seen just in front of him) noticed his exposure and took him off of Uncle Jimmy's shoulder. She herself had begun noticing the double member soon after his first erection and had been pleasing herself with him ever since. In fact, later that night, Eddie got a little visit from his cousin Eloise (Seen in the extreem foreground) and his unique birth defect resulted in hours of hard steamy incest.
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it looks like ex president nixon was reincarnated into a small child and is proclaiming that he is indeed still not a crook
He looks like...
He's just a city boy
Born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train
Goin' anywhere
He looks like he recovered from direct floor to face contact after his classmates attempted to lift him on there shoulders for winning the annual "Colon Powell's School for Recovered Crack Babies" how low can you go Limbo contest. Over joyed with his victory little Joseph didnt seem to notice 3 of his 5 remaining teeth were now engrained into the schools wood floor. The blood pouring from his mouth and ears was washed away just in time to have his picture taking while a school teacher carried him to closest emergency dentist they could find. Joseph would never forget that night and we imagine he dreamed about it until the internal bleeding completely shut down the left side of his brain and he could no longer control his bladder. But this would not be his last Limbo, being that his body would forever be stuck in pergatory because his parents refused to take him off life support.
He looks like he got into the spiked punch bowl, and is now fantasizing that he is at a Van Halen concert watching women throw their bra's and panties at the band. His parents will find him passed out in a bathroom stall covered in his own vomit. Needless to say he will be grounded.
Uncle Billy always told little Timmy that he was the prettiest princess in the world. As a result, when Timmy's 10th birthday rolled around he was overjoyed by the surprise party thrown for him with pink and purple ballons and white streamers. Uncle Billy's really nice friends were all there including Uncle Billy's most recent girlfriend, a sweet man named Bruce (depicted here with the black wig.) Deciding to up-the-ante, Uncle Billy's friends gave Timmy a Chanel mini-skirt.
This was Timmy on the happiest night of his life, being held up by his Uncle Billy amidst a large crowd of friends in his brand-new miniskirt. Right afterwards Timmy proceeded to try and pull the large candy-bars out of the men's pockets. Later that night, he was accosted and raped by his older sister Betty because she couldn't stand not having him.
Ten years later, Timmy now wears bright uneven lipstick, heavy make-up to hide the bruises from his abusive boyfriends and tight metallic miniskirts, going down on any man who will give him a lift or a dollar. He frequently calls his Uncle for cash and food. His Uncle has been refusing his calls since Timmy began to grow a beard and his voice dropped unexpectantly.
Betty (seen in the foreground) as far as Uncle Billy can find out, was a crack-whore living with her abusive boyfriend and 8 kids on the outskirts of Denver.
Uncle Billy has settled down with the love of his life Bruce and they are currently deciding if they want to mauve wallpaper or the avacodo.
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its now a month later...I think we need a new post.
Notice, everyone dancing is crossing "the fag line" -- this party evidently transpired in about 1985 -- back when that kind of dance was acceptable.
No new post yet? WTF?
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He looks like he has finally over come the stigma that has followed him all these years at McMalister K-12. He plotted with his one and only friend, a down and out ex-mayor turned crossing guard who he befriended and who in his little buddies generous spirit rekindled a long and dead bond with his ex-wife and sullen 12 year old daughter.
Having helped Mr. Dearing get his life back together he felt he could conquer the world. A passion he had lost and never thought he would regain. But if Mr. Dearing could do it, and if he could help make it happen, then why not triumph over his own shameful bed wetting, public crying and the many bullies, both overt and subtle, who everyday trampled his pride.
The hours and days were long and hard, the nausea and panic he felt increasingly suffocating, as he practiced the Brazilian art of Capoeira. A mix of martial arts, break dancing and pure energy. Mr. Dearing's daughter put together a raucous mix tape, which for her was a journey unto itself and ultimately a milestone in her fight against angst, light drugs and friends that just dragged her down.
When the day finally came he found himself over come by panic. He fled to the one place he felt safe. High atop a water tower, empty since the local manufacturing planet shut down. Mr. Dearing paid his debt in full, rescuing him from himself with a rousing speech peppered by many of the same things he himself had once said to stir Mr. Dearing.
They rushed to the big dance, blowing traffic signals and taking several daring shortcuts. The race felt like one which would end with his destiny finally realized. It took them through many of the landmarks that were the backdrop in their own recent story. A story, which was finally reaching it's climax. He watched the bars and stripclubs he pulled Mr. Dearing away from pass by, awakening those memories a new. He felt his pulse raise even more as they passed where the Dooglemans dog chased him and where he first overcame his fear by leading it straight into a group of bullies who had tormented him only days before. He passed the tree where he sat and laughed at the bullies fighting off a mad dog, screaming in terror, as he taunted them and asked them how it felt to be torn apart, literally experiencing what they had subjected him figuratively.
As they parked in the lot behind the school auditorium time seemed to speed up. He got out, went in, took a deep breath and let his legs do the talking his wet mattressand his wailing tantrums in the supermarket and in class never seemed to do. Every bit of his being exploded on to the dance floor as Mr. Dearing daughters mix tape, covertly ejected into the auditoriums sound system, beat and buzzed.
Either before or after his baptism - it is to this day a mystery - little Jimmy inadvertantly partook of the bowl of "electric wine" someone had slyly concocted during the ceremony. We see here Reverend Smeth attempting to accelerate Jimmy through the time continuum (at the little one's behest.) The good reverend thinks Jimmy is anxious to time-travel and meet Jesus (unaware of the child's immensely expanded mind-consciousness.) Poor Jimmy. His wish will later back-fire, as he tragically falls helplessly into Karl Rove's latest mental puzzling! The boy awakens the following afternoon in a totally askewed universe.
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This picture was taken by Tandy on the Crestview Jr High yearbook staff. This was at the 8th grade farewell dance. Mr Schnuckey, the vice principal, trying here to calm things down got fired 4 years later because he came to school drunk after his wife left him and punched a 6th grader. Tandy had a huge crush on Kevin. She had her friend Cristy ask him out for her later that night while she hid in the bathroom. He said no. She heard from her friend that went to the same college as him that he date raped a girl and he got kicked out of his frat. Tandy grew up and is a nurse in Houston. She has two daughters, Kylee and Hannah. They didn't put this picture in the yearbook.
Okay, so all looks like fun and games in the picture. However, the next morning this the kid on the milk carton. Everyone was there and no one noticed the guys slipping him the champagne. Even with all eyes on him, no one saw the guys put him up in the chair, bounce him around and then out of the room.
Timmy has just won the 4th grade pesidency at Don Diego Elementary School. He is so excited because his classmate Monica has been showing an interest in cigar smoking and he just happens to have a lonsdale to share with her.
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The simplest explanation here is that it's some 13-year-old kid at his Bar Mitzvah.
he looks like he is celebrating his first day after losing his virginity
he looks like he is celebrating after he lost his virginity last nite to an 80 year old woman
why are you not here?
come back.
He looks like...
Just a city boy,
Born and raised in South Detroit.
He took the midnight train,
goin' anywhere.
He looks like he's about to piss on Uncle Fender's neck, with all the boucing up and down, and all. He drank seven glasses of the spike punch and his tummy is rolling around in his throat. He hasn't noticed how sick he feels cuz the acid I gave him makes you forget about your body and makes you think you are just a head with floppy arms. His hips, feet and bladder are numb, so if you look close you'll see the stream of wetness trickling on Fender's shirt in the next shot.
He looks like the luckiest kid in the world. *sob!*
:'(
come BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!
What the F*&%? Run out of material?
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Help me Dude, I'm lost.
I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw Elvis in the supermarket yesterday.
No honest really, he was right there in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender".
He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a shiny, new plasmatv to go with that blue suede sofa of yours.
But Elvis said I, In the Ghetto nobody has a plasma tv .
Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger then I'm gonna go home and ask Michael Jackson to come round and watch that waaaay cool surfing scene in Apocalypse Now on my new plasma tv .
And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . .
"You give me love and consolation,
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Strange day or what? :-)
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Yahoo Boasts Size of Its Search Engine Index
Trying not to include any phallic analogies, Yahoo this week announced that its overall search engine index is much larger than Google’s and is the most in depth index of ‘web objects’ on the search market. On the Yahoo Search Blog, Yahoo disclosed that its index now includes 19.2 billion web documents, 1.6 billion images and more than 50 million audio and video files - over 20 billion items.
Yahoo is usually shy about disclosing the size of its search index, but the Yahoo Search Blog is celebrating its first year anniversary and Tim Mayer thought that somewhat of a retrospect was in order - since Yahoo has grown into its own as a search engine powerhouse over the past 365 days.
From the YSearchBlog : While we typically don’t disclose size (since we’ve always said that size is only one dimension of the quality of a search engine), for those who are curious this update includes just over 19.2 billion web documents, 1.6 billion images, and over 50 million audio and video files.
Note that as with all index updates we are still tuning things so you’ll continue to see some fluctuation in ranking over the next few weeks.
Greg Sterling of the Kelsey Group, however, makes the distinction of quality over quantity What I, Joseph User, care about is accuracy, quality and relevance. The available index does matter in terms of bringing me a sufficient quantity of results. (And if I’m looking for something really obscure, having that thing in the index is obviously important, which may go to size.).
But there’s a major case of diminishing returns—there’s already way too much information online for people to assimilate. Throwing more volume at me does nothing but make my eyes glaze over. What I want is enough relevant results.”
Index schmindex, the moral of the story is what Yahoo has accomplished over the past year and what the next 12 months will bring with not only Yahoo Search, but the Yahoo Publishers Network, Yahoo LinkSpots, Yahoo Pay Per Call, and Site Explorer. What has Yahoo accomplished over the past year? Well, here’s Tim’s rundown :
Copyright © - 2005 Entireweb
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I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw him in a car lot yesterday, which is really strange because the last time I saw him was in the supermarket.
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But Elvis said I, In the Ghetto nobody has a lcd tv .
Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger.
Then I'm gonna go round and see Michael Jackson and we're gonna watch that waaaay cool surfing scene in Apocalypse Now on the lcdtv in the back of my Hummer.
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Games & PC Games News - Oct. 15, 2005
PRESS RELEASE: WonderPhone announces Empire Earth® - a made-for-mobile version of the best selling PC strategy game (gamesindustry.biz)
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Xbox 360's New Media Play Finding Fans (eWeek)
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