Wednesday, March 02, 2005


He looks like Samy Choy, the owner of Samy Choy's Holistic Pest Control, who uses his training in martial arts and meditative mind control to extract pests. Many who have observed his work describe his methods as "unorthodox, though highly successful." One satisfied customer explains, "He makes his way around the room grunting, howling and meowing while forming a variety of claws in the air, all while maintaining a rigid squatting position. It's an intense process that can take hours, but his concentration is inhuman! And at the end of the day, I don't know how, but he always comes out with a box full of rodents." Samy has earned an amazing reputation for his service in this arena, making Samy C's Holistic Pest Control hugely successful and almost as profitable as his restaurant, Samy C's House of Mystery Meat, which was recently given highest ranks by Zagat's.
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37 comments:

Blog ho said...

After days of viscious fighting, Kim Lee versus the invisible ninjas of Tsoang Tzong province without upsetting one single chair, Lee gets the last ninja in the Ball Grip of Hopeless death ending the battle but not the war.

The Chief said...

Mr. Lee is also known for moonlighting as an attraction at special events, or faltering businesses.

Here, for example, Mr. Lee is seen displaying one of his world-renowned poses to attract potential customers to the HKCMAAL's breakfast bar where their specialty is sunny-side-up fried eggs.

Judging by the number of available chairs, Mr. Lee isn't much of a draw without his trademark giant bug costume he usually wears during exhibitions to promote his forte.

B said...

Roger Chu, the master of anything he sets his mind to.

In the back you can see the numerous awards he earned in a variety of martial arts, and bowling.

This picture was taken after hours at his highly successful restaurant, the location of many very high powered multi-million dollar deals in the area.

His current obsession...making it on the Wade Robson project. You are catching his signature move in action. In its entirety, there is no equal, he will dominate the arena of background pop/hip-hop dancing for many years to come.

Anonymous said...

Air guitar - Asian style

Mr. Kow Dung demonstrates his version of Hendrix at the Happy Duck Lung Club on amatuer night

Anonymous said...

Air guitar - Asian style

Mr. Kow Dung demonstrates his version of Hendrix at the Happy Duck Lung Club on amatuer night

Anonymous said...

Lame..........

Anonymous said...

well, then i did the Tiger squats on frog and frightened the robber into a corner. i retrieved the Mystery Meat pancakes and locked him in a fridge. He came out muttering about my mystery meat "the mice! the rodent carnage!" but everyone just thought he was crazy and that's why he stole pancakes. so he went to jail...that's how i save the mystery meat. any costumers?

Anonymous said...

He looks like Pham Duk, successful businessman and community leader in the local Asian meighborhood. He strives to be a positive role model, but is oblivious to the fact that he just can't relate to today's youth.

Mr. Duk selflessly donates his time at the community center. Here, he is doing an hilarious skit in which a tall basketball player has to squat down in order to open the front door of a short friend's house. In his right hand, he is holding one of those transistor radios "all the kids use."

Anonymous said...

Chao-on Yung Manz Phat is a successful, if not dorky, business owner in downtown little Bejing just outside Bute Montanna. he has always dreamed of being a martial arts master but due to acute vertigo and a lack of any real hand-eye coordination, he was never able to master much other than walking. You can see his shelves full of trophies that he won for various cooking awards and the bowling tournament he won on a fluke when he discovered that his vertigo only goes away after 2 fiths of saki. unfortunately he also lost all sense of controll and ended up sleeping with 3 bowling alley attendants, 2 of his competitions wives, and an unconfirmed report of something involving the carma sutra and a rat terrier. All of this between sets during the tournament, and sometimes right in his alley. What has this got to do with Choa-on Yung manz Phat doing martial arts in a restaurant? As soon as Chao' s wife heard about this(she actualy saw it live on the local bowling channel) she packed up the kids and left him. Chao now lives in the old shed behind his restaurant and spends all of his waking hours wathing re-runs of Kung FU the legend continues. this photo was taken after he consumed 3 fiths of Saki and had completed a 12 hour run of Kung Fu The Legend Continues, which included an introduction to the art of Kung Fu by David Carridine. this is the last time anyone saw him alive. a few hours latter, his body was found tangles in the beer draft hoses clutching a broken bottle of saki. It is unclear exactly what happened, but police think that while Chao was watching the 12 hour run of Kung Fu again(he had this on tape and it was found paused during the kung Fu lessons with David Carradine)that Choa had gone into the restaurant to get his last bottle of Saki, he spotted an intruder, challenged him and faught him to the death. unfortunatley the security camera was of poor quality and all that can be seen is Chao getting into a similar position as in the photo and suddenly leaping over several tables and across the bar. there was no money missing, and all of the damage was centralized around the mirror behind the bar. Police speculate that he had consumed enough saki that he may have mistaken his reflection as an intruder. The autopsy revealed multiple laserations to the feet and hands, and blunt force trauma to the back of the head, due to falling off the bar. Cause of death was asphyxiation from the Draft beer hoses. the autopsy also revealed that had Choa gone to a doctor years before, a 30 dollar procedure would have fixed his inner ear problem , elliminating his vertigo. the doctor also noted that due to the years of dealing with vertigo, that Chaos brain had an overdeveloped sense of balance and hand- eye coordination. Apparently the saki provided temporary relief of his vertigo and allowed his brain to function at better than average capacity.Oficer, Suk Sum Yung Guy, who is a Master of Tae Quan Leap reviewed the tape and was quoted as saying," he would have made one damn good student of Kung FU., He could have been a master".

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Anonymous said...

To me it looks more like Chow Yun-Fat in 15 or 20 years in a bar trying to prove he's still got what it takes.

This is the part where he's saying
"This is the move known as the Beetle...ow, ow...oh... my back. Oh, help, my back. I'm stuck...ow, ouch. Quit laughing Jackie and get your butt over here and help me outta this! Damn sciatica!"

Lost Bird said...

Since his youth, Feng Yung Boi has had an 'imaginary' friend. He has taken her to prom and out to movies.
Seen here professing his love to her, and proposing at the Fetish Bar and Grille in Faremount, MN.
The couple are planning a September wedding, and will be going to Feng's hometown of Handsamich, Taiwan.

Anonymous said...

"its yr thang, do what u wanna do" he sings to no one.
no one wants him and he is stuck with making musical love to the diner chairs.
he is a waiter and boy is his boss pissed off--he drove out the customers again.

Anonymous said...

Evidently Choi here did not recieve the memo about asian people specifically not being allowed to use the Force...

Anonymous said...

Mr. Yakamura hates chairs.

How unfortunate!

He's forced to live in a world filled with chairs, constantly on guard against their plots to steal his manhood. He will not rest, will avoid sitting, until the world is freed of chairs and their evil influence.

The crinkling and crunching of his tin foil underwear - which protects him from the emasculating effects of seats on the Ginza to Chiyoda train every morning as he goes to work at the Hello Kitty stationary print shop - can be heard by all his fellow transit users. But he is not embarrassed, as his cause is just and honorable.

Anonymous said...

Kwai Kane Chang IV had wanted to be a nothing more than a simple cook in a restaurant, but when the Lobster Triad's trained crustacean crawled out of the tank and grabbed a bottle of BUD LIGHT and his largest butcher knife, Kwai was forced to call on every last vestige of kung-fu his ancestors had taught him.

Anonymous said...

poor thing, all his yoga friends left him alone doing the
Sitting-Like-A-Wet-Duck Position and now his back has been thrown out. His yoga friends should know better...then agian...I can sort of see why...

Anonymous said...

Every year as a child, his parents made him watch family entertainment - the Wizard of Oz, Ben Hur, The Little Mermaid. But over the fuzzy black and white TV picture, his father Gwai Lo adjusting the donkey ears (for there are no rabbits in Hong Kong) on the set, Swing Lo loved most the Nutcracker Suite. Here, he is doing his own muli-cultural interpretation of the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies . . .

Anonymous said...

Here we see Wee Fukem Yung practicing the G-spot move he learned the night before off a porn movie called "Masters of Pu Tang". He plans on using this technic on his hot date tonight with Kim Chi.

The Cure said...

Maybe a really bad Jackie chan fight impersonation.

merkley??? said...

Fighting.

I was in volved in a fight once.

One time, I had Bangs, and they totally got in a fight with my eyebrows.

My Bangs were like: Swoooosh
My Eyebrows went: scratch scratch scratch
And the Bangs go:Floww Floww Floow
And the Eyebrows were all: pffffft
And the Bangs went: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSP

It was gnarly I had to threaten them with a lighter to make them stop.

That chinaman guy looks like he spotted a rogue eyebrow.

IsLifeLame said...

He looks like he's showing us his marionette style used in the Chinese re-worked production "Team China: World Police".

kris said...

he looks like somebody forgot to tell him auditions for "CATS" are long over . . .

Anonymous said...

um yeah ok i think he is trying to take a shit that has been there for a while, closed down camp for the day and just smoothly working it out! i wonder if he ever got it out??

Anonymous said...

he looks like the Tailor in Kung FU Hustle. you know, the femenine one that wears red underwear

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