Monday, February 07, 2005



She looks like a method actress who, despite her husband's protests, lived in a crackhouse for over a month to research her non-speaking role as Crack Whore #2 on an episode of The Shield. She returned with collapsed veins, severe tooth rot and a wicked petrified crust on the back of her neck that smelled strongly like wet dung and took an assortment of power tools to break off, but she gave the best damn non-speaking Crack Whore #2 performance to ever be cut for time from a cable network television show.

Her career took a turn for the worst when her stellar performance caused her to be typecast as Crack Whore #2's, Dead Prostitute #4's, and Halle Berry's stand-in. She took time off from acting, found God, and returned with a vengeance, vowing to accept only auditions for characters who defined the very fiber of moral righteousness and innocence. But when she fought hard for and lost the lead role in The Princess Diaries to Anne Hathaway, who in her opinion, looked neither like a princess nor a diary, she become angry and despondent, cutting off contact with friends and loved ones and slipping back into the drug dependency which she always blamed for her career's downward spiral. These days, sadly, she can be seen twitching down Hollywood Blvd., loudly announcing a willingness to trade handjobs for Thunderbird. Her husband, Leonard, would like her to come home.

Posted by Hello

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

She looks like a dead prostitute, who after 20 years of prostituting finally, saved enough for med school, but the last man she had business with was a pyscho mass murderer whom is also a necrophilac that works at the med school she wanted to go to.

Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

She looks like years of doing blackface and “Mammy” have finally caught up with her…and tattooed themselves to her face.

Anonymous said...

She looks like she somehow ingested a healthy dose of pufferfish zombie toxin...

sapphoq said...

looks exactly like an ex-boyfriend.

Anonymous said...

Steve was an honor studdent at Middleton High, Middleton Vt. He was studying to become a male hairdresser and stylist for the movie stars. When he completed the local community colege course for hairdressing ( the same time he graduated from the GED program ) he moved to California to try and get a job in every high profile salon in town, to no avail. after a series of bad jobs, and equaly bad drugs, Steve stumbled across a few old movies:yentel, Mrs. Doubtfire, and Tootsie. Steve, through a haze of crystal meth, crack, and weed decided to give cross dressing a try. Being a stylist he naturaly did his hair first, unfortunatleyu he didnt have any female clothes and decided to go to the salvation army to seek out some cheap duds. on his way there he was acosted and an attempt at rape was made, once they realized he was a he, they anal raped him any way. once he stumbled to the Salvation Army, he settled on a nice tank top styled one piece skirt and began walking home. still under the influence of several drugs, he walked through the same neighborhood where he was raped, and was acosted again by the same men, who oddly enough were on a real bad trip because they bought the same drugs that Steve did. once they realized that she was a he, they of course anal raped him for the second time, and in the process knocked out his teeth. by now its close to morning and Steve has to get on the ball, but he has a swollen lip and two black eyes, with the help of his x-girlfriend (who assisted the men who raped him the second time)he managed to paint his swollen lips, doctor up his eyes, and pluck his eyebrows. Steve did forget to shave but at this point he was beyond caring about the little details. on his way to the job interview at Crystals House Of Hair For The Stars, Steve walked through the same Neighbrohood that he had been raped in twice before. Thinking that they had a real biatch this time they again were disapointed to find an "outy" and not an "inny", so they rolled him over and raped him again. he was also forced to perform oral sex which led to his eyes being forced into a crossed position. this picture was taken that morning after he wandered home from his last assault, and his smile came from his finding out that he didnt have to worry about getting pregnant. due to the mental trauma of being raped, and leftover effects of bad drugs, Steve now works as a transvestite prostitute in a neighborhood where he is repeatdly mistaken for a hot biatch and raped.

Anonymous said...

Hello ever body, I is Mrs. buttwheat.

Anonymous said...

They look like they got kicked out of clown college when the headmaster finally realized that the hooker he had been picking up on the street corner by the school was infact one of his students high on crack.

Anonymous said...

Please make it go away!

Anonymous said...

After twenty years of heavily abusing LSD, heroin, and crack (occasionally all three at once), Greg finally crossed that fine, fine line between sanity and unconvincingly hideous transvestite.

Anonymous said...

She looks like maybe a billboard poster saying Say no to drugs. If you have any or if you think I am sexy give me a call at 1-900-CRACK-HO.

Anonymous said...

He was actually brutally accosted by the Lesbian Eye for the Soon to be no longer Straight Guy crew. They are an underground movement in charge of getting that show off the air in service to all lesbians everywhere. They just tied him up and had the Bi chick paint his face. Unfortunately, they were all out playing football when their friends were watching mommy put on makeup so needless to say, it came out a little wierd. They just brought in their muscular friend Horaldo who is at this moment assisting this poor man in anal sex. He is smiling because, off camera, to the left, there is a very horny Bisexual who just took off her shirt and began making out with her co-star. This show can be purchased at army surplus stores and Katie Lang fan clubs everywhere.

Anonymous said...

She looks like Robin Quivers without her make up on.

Anonymous said...

She looks like ... umm He looks like ... err, whatever, in that photo. I almost didn't recognize her; him. It's Bozo the Crack Whore Clown.

Dr. LongJohn, a local dentist, offers a makeover to the "person" shown in this photo. Her friends have shared her touching story with Dr. LongJohn, telling how she has always tried to help her friends and family by repeatedly opening their beer bottles and pickle jars using nothing but her teeth. Before Dr. LongJohn attempted to perform the carefully planned procedures on 'Bozo', he first offer the clown a breathe mint. Of course, Bozo refused the mint and declared, "It ain't nothing but a little butt breathe, It ain't gonna hurt cha'. According to sources close to Dr. LongJohn, Bozo's breathe was so bad, Dr. LongJohn placed a mask firmly over the Clown's mouth and nose and procedded to put her down. Bozo is proceeded by Sister BaBa, the Crack Whore Clown.
Funeral services will be announced later this week. Remember: never refuse a mint.

Anonymous said...

LaShonda tried to make the best of th situation. After filming the peorn take-off of "The Incredible Hulk," she realized that she couldn't remove her makeup. So instead, she added to the affect anddeveloped the idea for the female role in her next porno film spinoff, "Beetlejuice."

Anonymous said...

Smile 4 the camera drag queen!!

Anonymous said...

The security guards at Neverland Ranch recieved a undisclosed amount of money when they sold this picture to a private collector. This is a "never-before-seen" photo of Michael Jackson right about the time all the surgeries went awry. When contacted about the picture, the spokesperson for the Michael Jackson camp had this to say:
"We are deeply concerened that this photo has been leaked to the media. Michael values his privates, I mean, privacy; and wishes to put this and all the child molestation cases behind him. He is very eager to return to his beloved home, where there are countless children lined up to share his bed with him. But where he will, honestly, not try ANYTHING with ANY of them!! But if another charge is brought against him, he has plenty of money to buy that person off!! Thank-you"

Anonymous said...

She looks like the crack ho who's gotten over $450 from me in return for blow jobs. Considering she only charges $2 per suck, that's a lot of my semen she's spat out onto the street next to my car. She only charges $3 for a lay, but I've got my standards.

Anonymous said...

I think it's disgusting , all those stories Ur riting about people like that. I just hope U meet someone who has really been raped 10 times at once from some disgusting idiots and see if U still find all U have written before so very funny. Some people might call what you do black humour , I call it abuse and shame of the human behaviour , and being disrespectful of people who have actually had that kind of experience 's feelings.

Anonymous said...

I think that you should not consider yourself part of any sort of civilization. The fact that you refuse to actually take the time to write three letters of YOU clearly states that any contribution you have towards the betterment of mankind is swallowed up by the unequivical laziness of your personality. Indeed, you seem to be an uneducated high-school dropout whose gift to society can be summed up by the phrase "Do you want fries with that?" And what makes you presume that we don't understand the ramifications of our actions? Many people consider poking fun at a serious problem a type of therapy. But then, therapy for you is probably a bottle of cheap beer, a hunting rifle, and time to clean the navel lint out. Alas! If only the rest of us could afford such idiocy, but no, some of us need to stretch the boundries of our imaginations and actually do something useful to others, even if it is only for entertainment purposes. I would really love to talk more, but, if you haven't noticed, the site is titled "HE LOOKS LIKE... THE MORBID GAME OF PSYCHANALYZING STRANGERS". Perhaps you should have paid more attention to the definitions of 'morbid', 'game', and 'psychoanalyzing' before visiting the site. Thank you and good night.

Anonymous said...

Looks like Little Richard is having a really bad hair day. lmao.

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Anonymous said...

ehehe..well i woyldnt say 'she;' is a boy,isn't it ?

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