He looks like a guy who is so comfortable with his sexual identity, that he's willing to wear his female friends' hats in public, and his girlfriend's panties in private (just kidding. He doesn't have a girlfriend). He has more white friends than black friends and more female friends than male friends, though he is everyone's friend because he's Mr. Nice Guy and hates the idea that someone somewhere may not like him. In bars, strangers will come up to him and joke, "You down with OPP?" because they think he looks like that dude from Naughty By Nature, which is cool, but it really doesn't help him get laid. Which is probably for the best since he secretly agonizes over the fact that he's hung like a beast and it causes complex feelings regarding intimate moments because he is terrified of the thought of hurting a girl. Because of this, he's only been with two girls in his life, and has had sex only six and three-fourths times. His easy-going goofball sense of humor masks his inherent shyness, and he's self-conscious over the fact that people expect him to be a better dancer than he actually is. He has a massive crush-bordering-obsession on Jennifer Garner.
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He looks like he spends his Saturday nights making his own hats and talking to the t.v in a way that suggests he thinks it might someday answer him back. He works at the shoe store in the mall and is on a first name basis with EVERYONE working at the local Taco Bell. He tells everyone he has no middle name when it is actually Julian. He is an only child and has always been secretly afraid his mother would have preferred a girl. She wouldn't, but allows him to overcompensate buy bringing her home-made baked goods every Sunday. Her secret is that when she was a teenager she had a short-lived but passionate love affair with another woman, Julie-anne.
He is single but believes his soul mate is out there somewhere. He is a nice guy who would be genuinly appalled to discover there are people out there like us. (Rock on!)
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