Friday, January 14, 2005


Posted by Hello He looks like that guy who shows up to parties, gets really drunk, then spends the rest of the evening compulsively declaring to anyone who will listen (and even rooms full of people who won't), "Duuuude! I am sooooooooo drunk!" In this picture, people have found him passed out on the kitchen floor. But when they pick him up by the hair, like a drunk circus monkey on cue, the first word out of his mouth is, "Duuuuude!...." One day he'll get beat up by some drunk guys who think he's too pretty for his own good, leaving him with a broken jaw, severely bruised testicles and a raging morphine addiction. But tonight, they plan to Saran wrap his naked, unconscious body to the large oak tree in front of the local senior citizen's home, with a large cardboard sign around his neck that says, "My pussy smells like strawberries." The old folks are going to get quite a surprising awakening at 4 in the morning. Except for his senile grandmother, who always suspected that kid had a pussy.

14 comments:

Pisser said...

Stop dancing like that, Nathan. You look like a spaz. You are NOT Robert Smith. You're forty-two years old with an Associate's degree is Business Systems Management.

Now go home and tell your mom you're sorry you puked on her ottoman or you will have to live with weird Uncle Scott again, and you know he always left bruises where they would show.

P.S. You are so not goth.

Anonymous said...

This is the last known picture of Bart Triffler, he was at a frat party when someone spiked his beer with E. He was seen dancing like a white rapper to Toxic by Britney Spears when all of a sudden he collapsed. Surprisingly it wasn't the E that killed him, he had a parasite infection in his large intestine. One of the parasites bit through his stomach lining causing stomach acid to leak and burn through his major organs. The parasites most likely got there when he went on a school trip six months early to Costa Rica, he got drunk and ate out a local prostitute who was infected with parasites.

Anonymous said...

I tested and found it was more Merry Cherry than strawberry. Either way, a fun dive.

Anonymous said...

what the hell is that thing?
ewwwwwwww!

Anonymous said...

He looks like the guy that barfed all over my bathroom at my New Year's party back in 2000. At Midnight the rest of us were toasting with cheap champage and wondering if all computer's were really going to crash. That guy was messing up my bathroom and his girlfriend who was cheating on him at the time would not go near him with a 10.5 in pole.

Anonymous said...

Ritchard Nixon in college. "I am not a drunk"

Anonymous said...

Despite his best efforts, Johnny Depp failed to impress Simon with his Alice Cooper-ish antics.

Anonymous said...

Whoa! I stepped in something...

Anonymous said...

wait, that is Robert Downey Jr!

Anonymous said...

Moley moley moley

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